June Newsletter: Bearing Witness and Accompanying Each Other

I hope you are doing well. The 10.27 Healing Partnership team continues to spend much of our time within the courthouse with families and survivors who are bearing witness to the ongoing trial. Reliving the details of Oct. 27, 2018 will be extremely difficult for many people, and there will be much that is outside of anyone’s control.

Many of us have been impacted, each in our own unique ways, by the trauma and grief of this event. As a result, we are often in two positions at the same time: to receive help, and to give support. For those looking to give support to those who are having strong reactions to the trial, here are some things to remember.

Trauma makes us self-isolate—we can find connection. 

When we are feeling the effects of trauma we can instinctively begin to keep more and more to ourselves. While this reaction is very normal, it may also allow us to create self-sustaining loops of fear, paralysis, or dread that do not serve us. Having other people in our lives and connecting with our communities can break those cycles.

We can simply accompany one another. 

Our responsibility to our friends, family, and community members is not to “fix” a situation that we do not have any control over. It is easy to undervalue the act of standing in solidarity with one another, in showing up, and in accompanying one another through difficult experiences. When I have energy to give, I look for ways that I can make others feel cared for and show them that they are not alone, while accepting that there are things I cannot change.

Listening is more important than you think. 

In that same vein, we often feel that we need to be able to say the “right thing” in order to reach out. In reality, many people just need someone to listen to what they are going through. Many people go through weeks or months of difficulty without getting to tell anyone about their experience. The very act of listening and validation can often be enough to get someone through their day.